FISHINGLIMERICKS
A mackerel was caught in my net
I thought of a seafood croquette
but he had the hide
to leap over the side
of my boat as he yelled "Wanna Bet?"
If seafood's your thing, come and see
of what has done wonders for me
a succulent meal
not a thing from a creel:
A lentil-based fish recipe!
Terry the turtle was sad
"The whalers have captured my Dad!
They grabbed him, you see
for a fish fricassee
as there were no whales to be had!
A dugong remarked to a trout:
"So what was that swordfish about?
I found him quite rude
with a bad attitude
and a pointy and dangerous snout!"
A tuna was pulled in my boat
One day while at sea and afloat
I said "What a fish!"
He replied: "Well, I wish
You would get this big hook from my throat!"
This fishing is really uncool
the way they hang out in a school
I know what they're taught:
how NOT to get caught...
and they label us fishermen cruel!
With ideas of bouillabaisse
I mashed up some tuna and plaice
but when I undid
the packet of squid
it squirted black ink in my face!
As I put a worm on my hook
it gave me a whimsical look
I threw my rod down
and drove into town
to purchase a chicken to cook!
My lure was the best you can buy
I flicked back my rod and let fly
my knot though was slack
it never came back
I sat down and had a good cry!
I wanted a champion bass
so lit fifty candles at mass
the priest blessed my rod
cause I gave him a cod
(the archbishop said it was crass).
'Twas early, the sun glowing gold
the water was bitter and cold
although turning blue
I was happy - I knew
that fishing is fun...so I'm told!
One thing about fishing I hate
is not all the boredom and wait
it's heading for shore
with a story so poor
cause the biggest thing hooked was your bait!
A halibut said to his Mum:
"That fisherman thinks that I'm dumb
he's tossed me a worm
I'm watching it squirm
I've only one thing to say: YUM!"
As Africa went through a famine
the people went out to catch salmon
as fish saw them come
one youngster said; "Mum
Look after yourself, cause I'm scrammin'!"
