A guy eating cheese wrapped in mold
Was told that his meal was too old
Or that’s what I’m bloody well told!”
A fireman’s wife’s hair was red
His job had gone quite to his head
As he pulled out his hose
And peed on her, then on the bed!
The river was raging, but shallow
"Get in there!" the Major did bellow
He was chicken, and piss-weak and yellow!
I sat on a bench, drinking juice:
Some berry, the color was puce
I threw it away, what's the use?
My mum said to me: "Where you been?
You left home one night at fifteen
It's twenty years old, and it's green!"
We went for a night on the town
And drank things unmentionably brown
But excuse me while I'm falling down!"
A silver-tailed bastard from Sak’s
got drunk and spewed up on my slacks
Then I fed him a dozen Big Macs!
A biker was dressed all in pink
went into a tavern to drink
the straights called him queer
turned out fifty-fifty, I think!
An orange was crying: "You queen!
Your real sex? Well I should have seen...
You transvestite perv nectarine!"
I went on a date with a lime
I ravished her time after time
They tell me that grape is a crime!
I met a young girl at a rage
Long hair of auburn and beige
It is X-rated, please turn the page!
I jumped up and yelled out “All Right!
Let’s party, let’s get down tonight!”
But what really floored me
I asked why, they said “Cos you’re white!”